Star Wars Episode IX: Balance of the Force
by triojediknights
Summary: Based on the recent plot leak for Episode 9. Five years after the Battle of Crait, the Resistance is still struggling to maintain relevance. Rey, still haunted by the man she loved and lost, and now carrying a dark secret goes on an emotional journey of self-discovery that will shape her as well as her friends. But will it mean anything if what she still wants lies out of reach?
1. Opening Crawl

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

 **Star Wars**

 **Episode IX: Balance of the Force**

The First Order is triumphant. Kylo Ren, now Supreme Leader, has ruled with a benevolent authoritarianism.

The flagging Resistance, after their humiliating loss at the Battle of Crait, have spent the last five years rebuilding their cause and a base on the planet Dantooine. In that time, precious few new recruits have been made... and old friends have been lost. General Poe Dameron is determined to inspire hope in his troops.

Rey, the Last Jedi, has been rescuing Force sensitives both young and old, with the goal of restoring a new Jedi Order to the galaxy...


	2. Chapter 1: A Loving Friendship

**Chapter 1: A Loving Friendship**

Rey wiped the bead of sweat off her brow. Seated in a meditative position, she observed the students around her - a dozen would-be Jedi, all eager to learn the ways of the Force from her.

Ever since the Battle of Crait, Rey had operated on the necessity of saving as many Force sensitives as she could - a necessity only heightened when she had learned that the Knights of Ren were actively hunting down and murdering those suspected of harboring such abilities. Even more distressing had it been to learn that this slaughter was sanctioned as official First Order policy. The news had made her think of the regime's leader, Kylo Ren. But she refused to ever acknowledge him by the name, unless she absolutely could not avoid doing so. _Oh, Ben_ , she thought sadly. _How far you have fallen..._

She had thought that closing the door of the _Falcon_ would banish her lost love from her life. Yes, she had fallen in love with him - aw, hell, she still was in love with him. And even if that reality had not sustained itself, Ben Solo had continued, and would continue, to haunt her. He had left her with a constant reminder, perhaps a reciprocation of the scar she had gifted him with on Starkiller Base...

On the whole, her students were an eclectic bench - ranging in age and all walks of life. From the oldest, Aidan - a 70-something humanoid from Endor - to the youngest, no more than 4 years old. Rey looked upon this particular child with favor, his adorable antics always bringing a smile to her face and filling her with warmth...

"Pilots approaching! Clear the hangar bay!"

Rey sprang to her feet, her meditation fading away. The stirring of her presence made her students snap to attention, glancing to her expectantly. "Aidan, take them to the conference room - it should be empty; I'm pretty sure Poe's war room debrief is over. Run them through the breathing exercises until I join you."

Aidan nodded his head in a deferential bow. "Yes, Master." Rey noted appreciatively how he corralled the others, particularly the youngling, Luke. "Come along, little one," and he swung Luke onto his shoulders.

Rey now ran through the hangar that had come alive like a hive of bees, ground control preparing to welcome the X-wings and other aircraft. Poe had authorized a recent bombing campaign, and an audacious one at that. As craft after craft touched down, Rey scanned frantically through the crowd.

And then, she saw him. That dark, and yet heating figure that, even after years of friendship and deep affection, swelled her heart.

"Finn!"

Eyes locking with hers, Finn (formerly the Stormtrooper FN2187) broke into a beaming smile and a striding run. Catching Rey in his arms, he picked her up and spun her around. Nestling against him, Rey was satisfied to hear the steady beat of his heart. "Thank heavens you're safe!"

Smiling at each other with tender intimacy, the friends shared a chaste kiss. "I've missed you, Rey," Finn's voice rumbled with protectiveness.

"So have I." Keeping her arms around his shoulders, Rey affectionately played with the nape of his neck. "Your hair looks different. You've grown it out." She glanced down briefly and smirked. "Same jacket, I see."

"Nah," Finn teased. "New jacket."

"Yeah, like you'd ever part with it," Rey laughed. Tucking herself into his side, the pair walked arm-in-arm through the hangar, leaving BB8 to be extracted from Finn's Y-wing.

"Be sure to have that droid returned to the General! And give him my thanks!" Finn called over his shoulder. Ground control would take care of the rest, he knew. "So - anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Rey shrugged. "More training. Poe's been amping up pow-wows with his advisers. He's getting antsy, it seems." Her voice now grew quiet as another thought came to mind. "Oh, and Luke and I left flowers at their graves. Both of them. You know, that spot on the hill... so that Rose could feel the wind. The ducks on the river. Leia..."

Finn cleared his throat roughly, as if he had something lodged in it. "Leia... always loved... watching the ducks on the river."

It had been a horrible night that night, the worst one in Rey's memory. Not even those first few rainy evenings on Ahch-To could compare in its ruthlessness. Leia had suffered a stroke that took her pretty quickly. Hours later, in the wee hours of the morning, Rose Tico, who had been in a coma for nearly a full year after the Battle of Crait, had passed on. It had been with great pain that Poe had ordered her taken off the ventilator.

Finn had been deeply shaken by the latter's death, wandering the base at night. Both Poe and Rey had watched his behavior with increasing concern. At one point, Finn had cleared all his stuff from his room and vowed to leave the base, leave the Resistance. Rey had intervened by offering to have Finn move in with her. She had begged him to stay, and only then had he relented.

But now, four years on from that, the grief had turned to a dull ache. Rey did not believe any of them would fully get over the losses they had suffered. Finn now changed the subject.

"Where is he?"

Rey turned her face up to him and beamed. "With the others. He's been waiting for you. He'll be so surprised!"

Finn pressed his lips into her temple. "Lead the way! Oh, but first, let's stop at our room. Need to store my luggage."

Finn and Rey's living arrangement suited both the ex-Stormtrooper and blossoming Jedi nicely. Initially, Finn had opted to let Rey take the full bed, in a fit of gallantry, providing himself with a cot. However, in the months after Rose's death, and with Rey's trauma from her experiences on the _Finalizer_ and Ahch-To still fresh, the pair had taken to sharing the bed together. Each would platonically hold the other through their nightmares, of which there were many. Rey was certain she had dreamed of Ben, perhaps even spoken his name aloud in her tortured slumbers. If she had, Finn never let on nor asked her why. As far as she knew, Finn had never been made aware of Ben's alter ego, and more critically, not even his last name.

Rey and Finn now entered their chambers, Finn stooping to store his travel bag in the closet. It was late afternoon, the evening sun sinking fast over the Dantooine plains, and Rey just wanted to curl up and retire for the night.

"Let's go to bed," she murmured quietly to Finn.

Finn's brow creased, puzzled. "But what about...?"

"Sithspit! I forgot! Aiden's probably wondering where I am!"

Rey had scarcely gotten up when the door burst open, and in rushed the 4-year-old youngling, Luke.

"Mommy! Mommy! Where were you? Aiden led us through everything; he was waiting!"

Rey exhaled heavily and smiling, pressed a kiss to her son's cheek. "I'm sorry, precious. Lost track of time. Someone's here to see you..." She pointed behind him, and Luke spun around.

"Daddy!" The boy nearly tackled Finn in his exuberance, Finn himself chuckling low and deep.

"There's my best boy!"

Rey watched the sight with a small smile. She had discovered she was pregnant only weeks after the Battle of Crait. When she had told Finn, he had promised to do whatever it took to help her. When the baby - a son - had been born, Rey had called him Luke. To remind her. For all the grouchy old man's faults, Rey would never, never forget the Jedi Master who had set her on this path. Her pregnancy had prominently featured a deep mourning for both the legend and also the flawed man that was Luke Skywalker, and she deemed it fit to name her son after him. Though most people on the base had taken to calling the child Little Luke, to avoid obvious confusion when the name was spoken aloud, even in passing. No matter whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, Luke Skywalker remained a presence here, even as the years had begun to pass since his death.

Though, in Rey's mind, there had not been a shortage of candidates from which to name her son after. Some were given serious consideration. Others were dismissed out of hand, one in particular...

Finn and Rey helped Little Luke prepare for bed. Having recently graduated from first a bassinet and then a trundle bed, the boy now took over what had once been Finn's cot, now situated on the other side of the room. After singing him to sleep, Rey signaled to her dear companion, and the two climbed into bed together, finding each other in the darkness.

"When are you gonna tell him? Or shall I?" Finn's voice pinged into the blackness.

Rey stiffened against him. "Never. Neither of us is going to..."

She felt Finn exhale hard, the rise and fall of his chest against her cheek sharp. "Rey..." They had both been here before.

"Finn," she half-growled, half-pleaded. "We can't..."

" _We can't_ keep this up! At least I hope that was how you were going to finish that sentence!" Finn stressed. "You know I will love Little Luke until the day I die! As if he was... But the fact remains:" and he dared to look Rey in the face. "... he's not my son."

"He's as good as," Rey defended. "Who else has he got?"

"Not his real father, certainly! And I daresay I would like to know the identity of this jackass who impregnated my best friend."

Rey glanced away. "You know if I could tell you, I would. But you wouldn't believe me if I did."

"Try me," Finn entreated, as he had done every once in a while for the last five years. Rey refused to answer. He had come not to expect one, all but giving up on the effort.

"Everyone sees you as Little Luke's daddy, anyway," Rey mumbled.

"And do you really expect everyone on this base to believe that?" Finn huffed.

"Why wouldn't they?" she volleyed back defensively.

"Oh, let's see. For starters: he looks _nothing_ like me! No supposedly mixed race-baby that I've ever known has come out with pristine white skin and a crown of black hair on the top of his head!"

" _You_ have black hair," Rey pointed out, giving the nape of it a loving flick. "And a very handsome head of it, I might add."

"Yeah, and I'm also black everywhere else," Finn deadpanned. In any other moment, Rey would have giggled, but now refrained. "Besides, we've never had..."

"Be quiet!" Rey hissed. "You wanna wake him up?"

Finn blasted a puff of air through his nose. Rey snuggled up next to him, inching her face closer.

"Buddy Kiss," she prompted. It was old ritual between them, and was especially effective in making up after an argument. After a moment, a half-serious stare-down, Finn acquiesced. Pecking Rey lightly on the lips, he drew her even closer and both of them fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Like it so far? Review me your thoughts; it would mean so much! Thanks! I have just started a new job, so my writing will** **definitely be on the back burner. I will update when I can. Love you all!**


	3. Chapter 2: The Hunting and The Hunted

**Chapter 2: The Hunting and the Hunted**

Kylo Ren sat in the oval egg that was his private meditation chambers. The device was modeled after the one his grandfather, Darth Vader, apparently used whenever the Dark Lord of the Sith wanted to be alone.

The Supreme Leader of the First Order felt the need for privacy more and more lately.

Five years it had been. Had it really been that long? It felt like an eternity - millennia stacked up agonizingly on top of one another. And with every passing day, the monotony of supreme reign was the same.

He really thought ruling the galaxy would be more... fun. No, too weak a word. Fulfilling? Rewarding? Yes, either one of those would do. Except leading the galaxy had turned out to be... well, neither. Cabinet meetings with Hux usually leading them, droning on in his monotone voice. Situation Room war counciling with his generals and closest military advisers, each and every one with disparate opinions and trying to make those heard by gaining the Supreme Leader's ear.

Five years it had been. Five years it had been since the most powerful, most beautiful woman he had ever seen had turned her back on him, possibly, probably forever. For the first several months after Crait, Rey's appearance - usually with a crestfallen, disappointed countenance about her - had floated in and out of his dreams, nearly driving him mad.

Kylo Ren would have probably killed himself a long time ago - let the sniveling Hux run the whole damn operation into the ground! - if it hadn't been for... the damn Force Bond.

Rey had initially appeared to him about 10 months after the Battle of Crait, long after Kylo had given up hope that their mysterious connection was someway, somehow, still alive. At first, he had not believed she was real, until she had shouted abuse and harsh words at him. But so great was his euphoria at seeing the bewitching, attractive Jedi princess (she was a princess, in his eyes and his dreams) again, that Kylo nearly - for one mad moment - pushed her up against the wall and kissed the breath out of her body. Only his tether to the Dark Side made him refrain.

From then on, the Bond's activation, Rey's visitations to him, occurred only sporadically. He could never predict just when she would appear, but the surprise of it all actually helped him stay motivated in this hellish life of his. _One more day_ , Kylo would keep telling himself. _One more day, and perhaps she will appear_. Rey's calming presence - even when she was as mad as a Tatooine hornet at him - served as a reward for him. Something to look forward to.

Sometimes, the estranged... friends, enemies, lovers (he could never pinpoint just what they were to each other. And perhaps he never would) screamed at each other. Sometimes, they said nothing at all, sitting in easy, companiable silence. Sometimes, they managed to carry on a civil conversation. But, always, painfully always, the visits would end. And Kylo was always left feeling that there was something more that he wanted to say to Rey. The woman who had scarred his face and captured his heart. Would she ever forgive him, for the choices he had made? Could he forgive her? Was it possible that chance would ever come?

The Supreme Leader's musings were interrupted by that annoying cretin known as Armitage Hux. "My lord, Supreme Leader: the Knights of Ren have returned with prisoners. Another batch of Force sensitives."

Thank the Maker. A break from the dreariness. Fastening his cloak, donning his mask, Kylo swept out of his chambers, to personally partake in his favorite activity: killing would-be Jedi in their cradle, whether they be elderly or but still babes themselves. He had tasked his Knights with exterminating all embodiments of the Force from the galaxy. Yes, he was well aware of the teachings of his uncle, about how the Force flowed through all living things, no matter whether it awakened in every life form or not. Yes, he was well aware that to exterminate the Force, he would have to exterminate life from this galaxy as it was known. Kylo didn't care. If it could just be himself and... Rey with this power, Rey as his prize...

Paradise. In the universe.

Entering the hangar, he saw his six Knights surrounding a group of five Force sensitives, all of various ages and from various homeworlds. An elderly Tortugan was particularly conspicuous. The alien was easily in his 100s, by rough estimation; indeed, he looked like he was about to keel over dead at any moment. Forced to his knees in the execution position, the Tortugan gave Kylo Ren a defiant stare.

"Hiel Rey of Jakku! Hiel the Last Jedi!" These naive fools had heard the stories. Kylo knew those with the Force were flocking to her, seeking her out, for shelter and refuge. Even so, the invocation made him see red. His vision became spotty from the rage consuming him.

"You _dare_ speak her name?" he seethed, gnashing his teeth so the question came out in a deadly hiss, with more lash to it than a serpent's forked tongue. How dare this tottering old fool speak of Rey! No one could have her name on their lips but him - when he would whisper it like a prayer in his dreams. And sometimes when he was awake.

Igniting the spitting, sputtering flame of his lightsaber, Kylo struck the Tortugan down. And then promptly ordered his Knights to slaughter the rest. As he turned away from the death screams, Armitage Hux stood at attention at his side.

"My Knights don't sleep until the Force is extinguished from this system," he ordered.

"Very good, sir," Hux drolled. "And what of the Last Jedi? The scavenger?"

Kylo nearly snorted. As if that question needed to be asked! But Hux was so dense, he needed to make his point explicitly, abundantly clear. Kylo would not rest until he had what he wanted. The _only_ thing he wanted.

"Find her. I want her. _Alive_."


	4. Chapter 3: A Wrenching Goodbye

**Chapter 3: A Wrenching Goodbye**

The sleep during the night of Finn's return did everyone some good, and Finn and Rey both rose feeling refreshed, and no longer angry with one another. Rousing Little Luke, Rey escorted her child into the Dantooine fields. There, she guided her pupils in hand-to-hand combat without the use of lightsabers. Those blades could only be used indoors, and sparingly, to ensue the safety of everyone involved. Rey's fear had been that sparring outside could lead to First Order spies discovering Jedi activity from the atmosphere, and an ever-cautious General Dameron had readily agreed with her assessment. A brief meditation as a good cool-down, and then it was time for the high noon meal.

Back inside the base, Douce Cometshock, a female Wookie who appeared middle-aged, led her fellow Jedi students in some basic Force exercises. As a teacher, it was Rey's belief that she should delegate mentoring duties as much as possible, for just as much knowledge could be gained from self-discovery as there could be gained from her lectures. She knew that better than anyone, for a lot of her initial training on Ahch-To had been independent, with Luke Skywalker doing little to help.

Rey finally dismissed her Padawans just before sundown, scooping up her son and cuddling him close as they proceeded to the mess hall. There, they met Finn for dinner. Right away, Rey could see he was quiet and reserved. A gentle touch of his hand and soothing smile did nothing to prompt an opening up of his inner thoughts.

The thrown-together family retired early again that night, with Little Luke conking out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Rey and Finn nestled together.

"What's wrong?" Rey breathed. "You're hurting; I can sense it. Talk to me."

A beat of silence before Finn finally came clean. She knew he would. If there was one thing Rey knew about Finn, it was that he would come to her eventually, confide in her when he was ready. "Poe ordered me on another flight. Bombing campaign, some reconnaissance. Supposed to be dangerous, and odds of peril are high. I leave first thing in the morning."

Rey stiffened against his side. Lip quivering, hot angry tears pooled at her eyes. "I'm gonna run him through with my lightsaber..."

"Rey -"

"You just got back! After five months! And now you have to turn right around and..."

"He's the General, what he says goes..."

"Yeah, for a mission where _'the odds of peril are high'_?" Rey shook her head, gulping down the sob. "I can't lose you. Not you too."

Finn gazed down at her, stroking Rey's arm lightly. Finally, he spoke. "Rey?"

"Yes?"

"In case I don't make it back, can I give you something to remember me by?"

Rey's brown pools shone. "Anything."

Finn whispered in her ear. "Let me make love to you."

Rey stared at him in astonishment. Her speechlessness gave Finn the opportunity to swoop down and kiss the Jedi right on her mouth.

This was no Buddy Kiss, that much was clear from the insistence of Finn's mouth pressed against her own. Rey gasped in shock, granting entrance for Finn's tongue to lick its way into her mouth and down her throat. Her eyelids drooping shut, Rey's hands delicately framed his face, enough to nudge their lips apart.

"I've never done this before," she gasped, a little nervous.

Finn smiled down at her. "I know. I've heard the story before." More accurately, he had heard the tale in the form of Little Luke's favorite bedtime story: the Jedi Princess and Her Mystery Prince. When Rey had first breathlessly told him the story - a longhanded answer to his initial query over the identity of Little Luke's father - Finn had found it hard to believe her. But then again, he once would have not believed in a power that could lift rocks from the side of a mountain. At this point, absolutely nothing surprised him anymore. He could believe anything. "You touched his hand, and the Force smiled down on you..."

"... and conceived in my womb a son," Rey recited, grinning. For it was true, her son's existence was a virgin conception, willed into being by the Force itself.

Finn kissed Rey deeply again. "Hmmmm..." she purred into his lips, opening once more to him. Winding her arms about him, she kissed him back.

Finn pressed her deep into the pillows now, swinging one leg over to sit astride her. Rey deftly unbuttoned his sleep shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders, her fingers palming flat against his rippling shoulder blades. Finn reverently undressed her in return, pushing Rey's pajamas down past her hips, all the way too her ankles, and then running his digits up the creamy curve of her thighs. In between kisses, the couple broke apart to giggle awkwardly - a common reaction for two friends exploring one another's bodies.

Rey's panties fell away, and Finn's fingers ghosted over her wet folds... which Rey was flushed to discover were sopping, _dripping_ wet. She arched her back into the man straddling her, taking a sharp intake of breath.

"Finn..." she croaked, bucking a little into his hand that was now massaging, caressing silkily. "Finn... _please_..."

Her beloved friend could no longer deny her. He swiftly entered her, wanting to cause as little pain as possible. Even so, Rey's head flopped back into the headboard, her eyes wide as saucers as something deep inside her shattered. She let out a low groan.

"Uhhhh... you're so _big_!" She felt like she was being cleaved in two.

Finn pecked her lips sweetly, before turning his attentions to her neck. Rey twisted to grant him more access.

"I've dreamed about this. Gotten hard from you."

Rey's cheeks burned scarlet. "I'm, uh... a bit... flattered," she admitted. And she was.

Finn now pulled out. Then slid back in. Out, in, out, in... The pair began to build up a rhythm, memorize what each of them liked. With every thrust, Rey felt her pelvis keen harder and harder, every snap of her hips to meet Finn's sharper.

"Uhhhh... Uhhhh... UHHHHHH! OHHHHH! Oh... oh my... Force... Finn... guhhhh... that's so good!"

"My God, Rey! You're so beautiful! Feel wonderful! Love you!" Finn could hardly speak in complete sentences anymore.

An indescribable warmth was building, building, flooding Rey down to her very depths. Her toes curled, her hands fisted the sheets, the skin of Finn's back - wherever she could get a grip. At last, with a squeeze and a wail -

"B... FINN!" She caught herself just in time, mentally slapping herself and disturbed by what she almost said. Thankfully, her dear friend did not seem to notice the vocal bobble as Rey orgasmed all around him, thrashing beneath his form.

Finn desperately pounded into Rey for a few more moments, eliciting an airy squeal each time from the young woman in his arms, until at last... "Rey!" He too followed with a sigh, drooping like a noodle on the Jedi's waifish form. Kissing her one more time, Finn pulled out of her, rolled over and cuddled his precious companion close.

In the afterglow, Rey's face curled into a content smile. "Goodnight," she whispered against his skin. And she fell asleep to the steady drumming of Finn's heart.


	5. Chapter 4: Jealousy

**Chapter 4: Jealousy**

The horizon was scarcely grey when Finn rose to depart for his mission.

Thank goodness he hadn't yet had time to unpack his travel case from the previous mission. He supposed he could at least be grateful for that. For although he could not show it (being a lifelong military man, a soldier, meant obedience was a habit deeply ingrained), he was going to miss the base. And the ones he held dear. A little more than a day with them was not nearly enough, as he ran a hand through Little Luke's black curls.

But he wouldn't miss anyone as much as the woman in the double bed.

Rey was sprawled on the mattress, naked as a kitten, her brown ringlets cocooning her head like its own little pillow. She dozed peacefully, a smile lingering on her upturned face.

Finn shook the pain from his gut. "We'll see each other again. I believe that." Rey had spoken something of the same to him once. Or at least, he thought she had, in a dream he'd once floated in. He steeled himself. "Buddy Kiss," he murmured to himself, before ghosting his lips over hers. "I love you, little desert flower," he whispered in her ear.

Rey adorably mumbled something inaudible before rolling over. Stirred, but did not wake. It was just as well. The goodbye was hard enough as it was, as Finn forced himself to sweep from the chamber and march with purpose to the hangar bay.

* * *

Her core ached. Her thighs burned, wobbling unsteadily after she first swung herself over the mattress. The rising sun did not cast a shadow to conceal the crusted sheen of dried blood coating the inside of her legs.

 _So that was sex_ , Rey mused, as she awoke to find Finn already gone, his side of the bed rumpled and still warm and giving a lingering smell that was distinctly, soothingly him. She breathed it in before crossing to the fresher. She felt refreshed, lightheaded in the best way. A sentimental smile crossed her lips. She had given herself, lost her virginity, to a man she loved. Yes, she did care for Finn deeply. He had been her first friend when she had none. The first person who ever came back for her.

Clothing herself in a towel, Rey changed into her Jakku outfit. Although not nearly as warm as Jakku - no planet could match that desert wasteland's heat - Dantooine could get decently humid. And she and her Padawans were going to work hard today. Rousing her son, Rey had to break it to him that Finn needed to leave on another mission. As she knew it would, that news went over about as well as the time she had needed to admit to the boy that Porgs could be eaten for supper: Little Luke burst into tears.

He still wasn't totally calmed down when mother and son met the other Padawans for training. Not even Aiden's grandfatherly comforts and gentle teasing helped, as it sometimes had before. The stressful atmosphere preyed on Rey's own anger and resentment, until she finally could not keep it bottled up. Rising sharply, she ordered:

"Douce, drill them on Form V. I'll be back in twenty minutes." And she stalked to General Poe Dameron's office.

She found him alone at his desk, as she had hoped, going over classified documents. "How could you?" Rey barked.

Poe glanced up, the easy grin fading before it barely had time to appear. "How could I what, Master Jedi?"

"He was just away for _five months_ for you! He was exhausted all day yesterday! And now you just send him off again? Into a high-risk mission? Finn's not our only pilot, you know!"

Poe rose, circling the desk. "That may be true, but he is one of our best. We are at war, Rey."

"I know that!" she snapped. "But Little Luke doesn't! He doesn't understand! I had to tell my son that his father needed to leave him again with hardly any notice! Do you know how hard that is?"

Poe's nostrils flared, his patience wearing thin. "Rey, this is a military base, not a daycare center! If the boy needs counseling, make that kind of request with the physicians, where it belongs!"

Rey's eyes stung with tears, her anger morphing into frustration, disbelief. She and Poe had always had a tense relationship. She recalled how he had not taken the news of her pregnancy well. Assuming command of the Resistance had only made him grow colder. Of course, stress of Poe's magnitude could make anyone close themselves off, but no one could be this... unmoved so consistently. "Why? Why are you always so cruel like this? I've tried to be kind towards you, for Finn's sake. Tell me why!"

" _Why_?" Poe seemed to thunder the word. "Because... you - and he - the kid..." He let out a strangled noise and yanked Rey into his arms.

His lips crushed hers in a kiss full of rage. Rey went stiff all over. Her eyes bulged. She couldn't move. Poe's mouth was hard and unyielding against her own, as hard and unyielding as the man himself. Like an electric shock passing from his lips to hers, Rey could sense a typhoon of emotions: anger, pain, longing and... jealousy?

The kiss broke almost as quickly as it had started. Rey staggered out of the embrace, her jaw hanging slack in disbelief.

SMACK! It happened without her thinking; she slapped him hard across the face. It had been her policy, back on Jakku, when other men had tried to force a kiss on her. Hand-to-hand defense, then her staff as a last resort.

Surprisingly, however, the sting of the slap did not even seem to register on Poe's face; enough pain seemed to rest there as it was. And from the... broken look he sent her way, Rey instinctually reached out with the Force. The longing, the jealousy, the pain were still there. But his thoughts... were not what she surmised they were...

Her steely gaze softened, her eyes grew gentle. Now she understood. "Poe..." she murmured. "When you kissed me, I sensed that you were wishing... that you were kissing... somebody else." She peered up into his face, her eyes searching his as she tried to make him look her in the eye. "Am I right?"

That got him; Poe finally met her gaze. Her heart broke for him. And then - to her amazement - the swaggering, daredevil General - began to weep. Rey slid closer; she dared to cradle his face in her hands.

"Hey... hey... it's OK..."

"No, it's not..." Poe moaned.

Rey smiled softly. "Yes, _it is_ ," she stressed. Her grin broadened. "I must say, you have fine taste, General."

Something between a laugh and a wracking sob popped out of Poe's throat. "It's still wrong! You and Finn are practically married!"

Rey couldn't help it. She giggled. Poe cocked his head like a curious child, thrown by her response. "Why is that funny?"

"Finn and I... we are loving friends. That's all."

"You mean friends with benefits?"

Rey could not control the blush that now flooded her cheeks. "One time," she admitted. "But more out of loneliness than anything else." She sighed. "Believe it or not, Poe, I know how you feel. I, too, am in love with someone who I think I can't have." Taking his hand, she squeezed it encouragingly, shaking her own melancholy away. "You have my blessing. Just bear in mind that he might not... swing the same way."

Poe finally gave a shaky, tearful grin. "Thank you, Rey. Thank you for helping me see myself for who I really am."

Rey gave a nervous chuckle. "You're welcome... I guess?" She patted his arm. "Get some sleep, General. You look tired." And she exited the office.

* * *

Rey did not return to her son and the other Padawans right away. She needed to retreat to her chambers to think.

Her head was still spinning from her encounter with Poe, even if the matter was largely resolved, to the extent that she came away from it with a new understanding of the General. Adding that agonizing over self-identity to everything else he already had to deal with... no wonder he had snapped.

In the quiet of her and Finn and Little Luke's room, Rey drew into the Force to find peace. So she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was when a deep voice rumbled:

"I wasn't expecting you this early in the morning."

Opening her eyes, Rey jumped about a foot in the air. There he stood, that untamed, tumbling mane of black hair. Those deep brown eyes, even deeper than her own, that she felt she could lose herself into. How many weeks had it been since she'd seen him last? A good six, seven at least. Almost two months. That last encounter had been on an evening walk through the Dantooine fields, when she couldn't sleep and she hadn't the heart to wake Little Luke and confess her troubles to him.

"Ben," Rey whispered, clasping a hand over her heart. "You startled me!" To her surprise, having him here was just what she needed right now. She had to admit, she was happy to see him.

Ben now frowned at her, and he stepped closer. His eyes scanned her surroundings. That part of their Force Bond had strengthened over time, at first ever so slightly back on Ahch-To and then with increasing regularity since the Battle of Crait. "Is this your room? I've never seen it before." He eyed Little Luke's cot with something between puzzlement and amusement. "The Last Jedi has to share her quarters? The shame of it!"

Rey thought fast. "One of our Air Force commanders. She's nice," the scavenger lied.

The yarn didn't deter Ben. Rey's heart stopped when she noticed he had spied one of Little Luke's toys - a stuffed Porg plush doll - sticking out from the bottom of the cot. "She dragged her kid here too?" His face hardened a little more. Rey's heart thumped fast and hard in her chest, as she tried to search for something to explain away the stuffed animal.

Ben spun around, his gaze now falling on Finn and Rey's closet... which had been left partially open, so that one of Finn's shirts could be seen bunched up on the floor. Ben crossed with purpose to the garment and picked it up. Getting a good look at his eyes, Rey saw that they now flashed with anger. That was when it clicked: the shirt... he _recognized_ it...

Oh no...

Ben spun to face Rey, the shirt nearly crushed in his fist. "His shirt. The traitor's."

Rey's own hands now balled up. "He is _not_ a traitor!" she spat, in spite of herself. Before she could think.

"So you admit it!" Ben barked. "Is this what you've been doing all these years? Besides training pathetic Jedi? Keeping house with a ex-Stormtrooper who wasn't even that crack of a shot?" He snorted. "I hope his aim is just as piss-poor in bed."

"It wasn't!" Rey blurted, digging herself deeper into the hole.

Silence. Ben twisted away, eyes blazing with anger, but even then Rey could still see a little hurt peeking out as well.

"Ben -"

"Do you love him?" The words were flung as sharply and as carelessly as the shirt Ben now flung with a bit of unnecessary force into the closet. Rey's throat inconveniently chose this moment to refuse to work.

"I..."

Ben took one step closer, and even if his body did not bear down on her, his voice certainly did. "Do. You. Love. Him?"

Rey gulped, working through what she was going to say. Had to say. She just hoped Ben still had enough patience left to listen through it all, or at least enough of it.

"Yes. A part of me will always love him. But..."

He didn't let her get past the _but_. Ben screamed in rage, and a little bit of Force Lightning crackled from his knuckles. He looked like he was about to lunge at her in a fit of jealousy. A jealous rage. So, Rey whipped out her lightsaber and pointed it right at him, ready, her teeth bared.

" _But not in the way you think!_ " she finally managed to finish her sentence, blast the statement into being. "I am in love with Ben Solo!"

Kylo or Ben or whoever he was in this moment snorted. "Bull. You had a goddamn bastard kid with a traitorous turncoat..."

"Don't you fucking _dare_ call our son a goddamn bastard kid!"

Ben stumbled back, as if Rey's lightsaber had struck him. His eyes nearly popped out of his head; for a moment, for the first time, the man seemed to be at an utter loss for words. "What did you say?" he whispered. "My... _our_... son?"

Rey deflated ever so slightly, her eyes sad. And for the first time, she spoke her child's true full name aloud. "Luke Skywalker Solo."

Ben threw up his hands. "Fantastic," he grumbled. "Absolutely fantastic." And just like that, he faded away. As soon as he disappeared, Rey collapsed to her knees in tears, her sobs echoing in the empty chamber.


	6. Chapter 5: Love is the Song

**Chapter 5: Love Is the Song**

Finn slipped with the silence of a jungle predator into the crumbling ruins. The open-air temple was impressive, despite its dilapidated state.

And it was a perfect place to exchange information in private. In the dead of night.

He barely got through that bombing campaign alive. But the shipment of blaster cannons was destroyed, just as Poe had so desperately wanted. The First Order would be handicapped, if only for a little while. A good few weeks, at the minimum.

When the encrypted message came through promising dirt on the First Order, from an informant, Finn had not believed it at first. Then again, this was his first reconnaissance mission. Lieutenant Connix and others, who had been at it longer, told them the informant's track record was pretty damn reliable. Nearly impeccable, in fact. Even if the informant insisted that he remain anonymous. But that was irrelevant. The intelligence - _that_ was what was most important. Rarely did it matter where such information came from.

"Welcome, FN-2187."

The voice pinged out from the shadows, and Finn jumped, his guard suddenly up, as it always had whenever he heard the old name he now so despised. "How did you know...?"

"You were always such a striking Stormtrooper. Your nobleness was not the only thing that stood out." The voice was identified as coming from one particular column, and Finn drifted closer to it. He could just make out the outline of the shadowy figure.

"You must be pretty high up in command, then," Finn mused, trying to keep the conversation as light and easy as he could - or as much as it could be in this context, anyway.

The figure laughed. "You could say that." An alabaster white hand now protruded into the light of the moon, an envelope clutched tight in it. "You and your allies will find what you need in there."

Finn couldn't help it. Mere feet from the informant now, he squinted to try and get a better look. The only thing he saw - or thought he saw - was a strand of hair. It looked almost... reddish in color. "But... who are you?"

He could have sworn the figure - whoever he was - grinned. "Don't ask questions. Just go!"

* * *

When Main Control had radioed that the spy flyers were coming in to base, Rey had nearly squealed in excitement. Even if she knew her heart rate would never slow until she saw him in his ebony flesh. It happened to be a day off from training for the Jedi crew, so Rey rounded up Little Luke and they hurried to the hangar bay.

She nearly cried with relief when she saw Finn clambering down from his X-wing in the distance. She was ready to run into his arms when...

An orange blur barreled right past her. Rey watched as Poe Dameron nearly tackled Finn, the pair laughing and whooping.

And then suddenly kissing.

Well, Poe was kissing Finn; the ex-Stormtrooper, for his part, looked like he had been hit in the head with Rey's staff. Poe sprang away, panting heavily. Silence between the two of them, even as the base's activity continued unperturbed; no one besides Rey had seemed to notice.

And then Finn was grabbing Poe and kissing him back just as enthusiastically. Silently observing the sight from afar, Rey felt her heart nearly burst with happiness, even as tears slipped down her cheeks. Here was where she could finally accept it: yes, she loved Finn. But she wasn't _in love_ with him. There was a difference. She saw that now. Maybe she should have seen other things in her friend - from the sleeping together platonically, save once, to those darn Buddy Kisses...

Rey felt her son tug at her sleeve. "Mommy? Why are they doing that?"

Rey's smile glowed lovingly down at him. "They love each other, honey."

A brief pondering, and then Little Luke simply shrugged. "OK."

* * *

It was a lovely wedding. Rey happily accepted her best friends' offer to serve as their Maid of Honor. Even Little Luke got to participate as the Ring Bearer, Aiden carrying him just to make sure the little tyke didn't drop the golden bands. Rey was proud of how her son was getting used to his extended family changing; he was still working on calling Finn _'Uncle Finn'_ instead of _'Daddy'_.

It was late at night when Poe and Finn departed for their honeymoon. Poe insisted that they only be given 72 hours leave and no more; as much as it pained him, they were still at war, and Connix was promoted to Acting General until his return. Only Rey was there to see the couple off, having tucked Little Luke into bed a while ago.

Rey warmly squeezed Finn's hand. She dared to peck him chastely on the lips one last time. "You know I will always love you. Just... in a different way, now."

Finn's mouth turned up. "I agree. I love you, Rey: that will never change. But how..." he shrugged. "You helped me on my way to realizing who I am. I will always love you for that."

Rey now turned to Poe. Ever since their confrontation in his office, there had been a permanent marked shift in their dealings with each other. And it had been for the better. Poe's palm now caressed her cheek. "You looked beautiful and absolutely fierce up there today." A slight pause, and then he said something Rey had suspected he had wanted to say for quite some time, but had just never gotten around to it. "Forgive me?"

In answer, Rey turned her lips into Poe's palm, her eyes drooping with contentment as she took in his brotherly warmth. "There's _nothing_ to forgive," she beamed. They gazed at each other, before sharing an innocent, chaste kiss of their own. Rey's eyes twinkled with mirth, and she half-heartedly swatted at him. "Why, General, you can't go around kissing me like that! What would your husband think?"

Poe laughed. He pecked her lips lightly again, and they hugged. "Fly safe," Rey sighed affectionately, praying for their safety.

She stayed in the hangar bay until the cruiser jumped to lightspeed, blowing it a kiss as it sped off. A moment later, however, Rey felt a twinge in her heart. A tiny envy. Wishing she could have what those two wonderful men now did. Slipping sadly back to her chambers, caressing Little Luke's head, she found her eyes were playing tricks on her. One moment, she could see Ben, and the next moment, she could not. Perhaps the Bond was acting up, flickering. Like static across a monitor. Thinking back to how she had sung Little Luke to sleep that night, Rey found herself shakily singing to herself:

 _"They say you are hard to love, that you are unworthy of, kindness and sympathy, but I see it differently. I'm not afraid to show the love I've been given, so I will be strong, I'll sing my song with hope I move on..."_

Unbeknownst to her, Ben could hear (or maybe he was just imagining it?) her voice in his head. He found himself moved to let out his own whirlpool of emotions. Across time and space, the torn-apart... lovers sang a wrenching duet:

 _"I wish you would stay... But still, I am praying. Down in my heart I'll find I can show love to anyone at any time..."_

Rey finished alone: _"If life is a play, and we are the players, then faith is the lyric and hope is the music and love is the song. Faith is the lyric, hope is the music, and love is the song..."_

* * *

 **A/N: While watching _VeggieTales Beauty and the Beet_ with my brother with special needs, I was struck by this song. Besides the driving rock ballad beat, it sends a good message, and the way it is staged seemed very similar to how an estranged Rey and Ben might perform it.**


	7. Chapter 6: Balance of the Force

**Chapter 6: Balance of the Force**

Thanks to the First Order informant's intelligence, the Resistance was able to discover the location of nearly all the First Order's fleet, including Kylo Ren's flagship, the _Finalizer_. Upon return from their honeymoon, Poe and Finn poured themselves into launching a bold surprise attack.

The assault occurred in the airspace above Nar Shadda, a seedy planet known for corruption and for its tacit support of both the First Order and the Empire before it. Rey had even heard stories from Resistance fighters native to the planet that a Jedi of the Old Republic - a survivor of Order 66 - had been left for dead there, blinded and badly injured.

The First Order was caught off-guard. Absolutely flat-footed. Rey could sense through the Force Bond that Kylo's counter-attack was thrown out desperately; he was rattled.

Steeling herself, Rey rounded up 11 of her Jedi Knights. She could sense Kylo, waiting for her down on the planet's surface... with six other Force essences surrounding him. The Knights of Ren. She and her Jedi would have their hands-full. Best to take them two-on-two, ideally. Kylo, however, would be Rey's and Rey's alone. Douce Cometshock volunteered to be the other odd man out, willing to face one Knight by herself, and Rey approved the plan. The fierce Wookie could handle herself.

The one Jedi learner who would not be going would be Little Luke. If the Force willed Rey to kill the man she loved, the father of their child, so be it. But she refused to risk her son being exposed to Ben's presence while he was still consumed by the darkness. She had all but resigned herself to the depressing reality that Ben was lost to her forever. She wasn't about to lose also the gift he had given her, the miracle they had created together with the Force's help.

"Do whatever Uncle Finn or Uncle Poe tell you," Rey told her son. "Keep out of sight. Find a good place to hide and stay there."

"Sure, Mommy," Little Luke affirmed, a little too casually.

"And stay there," Rey reiterated.

Rey and her Jedi took a light craft down to Nar Shadda's surface. On a crusty, dried over plain, clearly weakened by drought, they faced off against the Supreme Leader and his Knights of Ren.

The battle was fierce, the clashing of lightsabers kicking up dust around the combatants' feet. But no dust storm was bigger than the one surrounding Kylo and Rey. The dust swirling about her, Rey could barely keep her eyes clear to dodge Kylo's blows, and only this could be done with a little help from the Force, enhancing her eyesight. Even as she concentrated, even with how winded she was becoming, even after feeling the tsunami of rage directed at her through this man's Force presence, Rey made one last-ditch effort to save the man she had fallen in love with:

"Ben! This isn't you! And you know it! Come away with me..." She actually began to cry, the salt stinging her pupils and creating quite a mixture with the dust particles. "Help me raise our child... Stop now! Stop now, come back! I LOVE YOU!"

She did not know if he heard her, if he heard any of it. Except for the last part, the first time she had spoken those words aloud, admitted them not just to herself: _I love you..._

Kylo's movements slowed, until his body came to a standstill. The Force, roaring in his use of it, sucked down to the mere flicker of his presence within it. Turning in the whirlpool of dust, the Supreme Leader lifted his hand.

Outside the dust storm, Rey could hear cries of death, startled shouts come up. She did not know what was happening, but she could sense that the sudden purge was not any of her allies, her friends in the Resistance. It was... First Order officers. Aircraft. Weaponry...

Kylo Ren was decimating his own army.

From above them, there was a scream, as Armitage Hux was dragged by the Force down into the dust storm, until he floated just before Kylo. Darth Vader's grandson now struck him through with his lightsaber, in angry retaliation for betraying secrets to the enemy. For yearning to mount a coup and then go too far, and destroy the only thing left in this universe that he loved. _Her... Rey..._

Hux's lifeless corpse crumpled in a heap before Kylo. He disgustingly cast it aside, raising his eyes to Rey. The Jedi's heart sped up when she saw no anger there. Only... hope. Tentative exposure. The asking of a question: if she would take him as he was, demons and all, if she would only be with him. And their son. Not in the Light. Not in the Dark. But in the Grey...

"Rey... it's me. Ben. I'm here." Gently, Ben dared to take her hand.

Rey peered at him closely, paying special attention to his deep brown eyes, where she confirmed that there was no malice. Only... warmth... tenderness... desire not for power, but for...

Love...

She beamed with unadulterated joy. "It _is_ you!" Keeping her smile plastered to her face, Rey leapt into his arms. And there, in the privacy of that dust storm, Ben and Rey embraced and shared a long, dreamy kiss.

It was the best kiss Rey had ever had in her life: better than the innocently pure ones with Finn, better than the angsty one with Poe, and even the affectionate ones after. It was a kiss Rey would never forget - one better than any in all the books she had read as a little girl on Jakku. It was a kiss full of apology, full of thankfulness, full of understanding and full of deep, deep love. It was a kiss full of enchantment, as the Force - in balance at long last - sang like a choir of angels around them, as Ben and Rey's lips met.

Rey now sprang her lips out of the kiss, boldly mouthing them down Ben's cheeks, along his jawline, his neck. He moaned and shivered at her touch, as her wide-open lips genuflected his body, worshipped at the altar that was his person. Rey kissed her way up towards his ear, nibbling affectionately at the lobe as she whispered silkily:

"If we get married, you can't ever tell me what to do." Then an afterthought: "And you have to help me train more Jedi."

Ben leaned back, so that Rey's lips fell away from his skin. His eyes were wide, and Rey could tell he was afraid he had misheard. She caught his eyes and held them, her face searching his anxiously, yet also hopeful. "Will you marry me, Ben Solo?"

A long, pregnant silence. The whistling of the wind of the dust storm began to howl less and turned into more of a dull roar. Then, suddenly -

Ben yanked Rey back into his arms and kissed her fiercely in return. "Yes," he hissed almost into her throat. Rey's lips curled into a triumphant smile against his.

"I love you," she whispered into his mouth, her voice strangely hoarse, the very utterance of those three little words making tears come to her eyes.

"I love you back," Ben whispered upon her lips.

* * *

It took a lot of convincing for Finn and Poe to agree not to arrest and quarantine Ben Solo on the spot. And it took even more convincing for Rey to make them understand that yes, Ben Solo was the love of her life and the mystery father of her child. And she and Ben were to be married, as soon as possible. To emphasize the veracity of her point, she refused to leave Ben's arms, or to relinquish her grip on her precious Little Luke.

Finn had thought, after seeing the way the Force worked, that he could believe anything. Except for this. Rey was in love with _Kylo Ren_? The man responsible for countless deaths in the galaxy? His... former employer? _Should be one awkward reunion_ , he thought almost bitterly.

Eventually, however, Finn and Poe gave the couple their blessing. Back on Dantooine, Rey was adorned in a white bridal gown, and escorted down the aisle by the Resistance General himself. Finn had to be practically wrestled into a tux to serve as Best Man, but he did so without complaint, except to tell Ben as Poe gave Rey away, "You better take good care of our girl." The whisper had been meant for the groom alone, but Rey still heard him. She only smiled at her dear friend's protectiveness.

"Don't worry," she giggled, nuzzling into Ben's chest. "He will."

And so, Ben and Rey Solo were married. And Ben was finally introduced to their son, brought to tears when Little Luke hugged him without conditions and readily called him _'Daddy'_.

* * *

That evening, as their little boy dozed and dreamed, Ben and Rey consummated their marriage in the bed they would now share. Gallingly straddling her husband's waist, Rey undulated and rocked against him as she began to make love to the light of her life. In response, Ben saucily began feeling up her are through the scandalous lingerie his bride had apparently worn especially for him. Rey slapped his hand away.

"I'm in charge here, Ben!" But she couldn't stop the impish grin on her face, the rosy blush to her cheeks. "You're so _naughty_!" It turned her on. Deeply.

And kissing him deeply, her tongue slipping in between his lips, her delicate fingers falling into the black mane that was his hair and pulling at each curl, Rey resumed having sex with the man she loved, the father of their baby, her partner, her husband.

The Skywalker family's tormented saga was over. The Force was in perfect Balance. All was well.

* * *

 **A/N: The overarching theme of this fic is that intimacy and love can be achieved even in simple friendships. Daisy Ridley made this very similar point in an interview, and I happen to agree. Such intimacy is possible, despite the way our culture portrays love. And I think Finn and Poe would help Rey as she mourns and pines for Ben. Please REVIEW to let me know your whole thoughts!**


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